Keepers DAY 4

Two days ago I printed out a calendar to take me three months into the year, numbering each day starting with last Monday as DAY 1. As I was numbering them I felt a mix of excitement and dread. That's a lot of days - a lot of days of knuckling down, blocking out distractions, denying myself the "rest" from a long day of work, all for the story that is inside me, clamoring to get out. I know from experience that it is all worth it, but still there is that hesitation, and desire to look for an excuse - any excuse - from starting.

But then I have to remind myself that it is not all work and no play. Part of the hesitation is that, although I have the outline done and know generally what the characters are going to to and say, I really don't know where this journey is going to lead me. And I guess I should be more excited than scared, but here I am, with those feelings nonetheless.

I had planned on cleaning up my office desk yesterday - currently it's a mess - and I know that once I have a clean desk much of my anxiety will go away, but I found myself frittering my time away with other activities (as noble and "dad-centered" as they were). I'm trying not turn this in to a "sucker's choice," the either/or trap that some of us fall into: I can either block my family out and write, or I can be a good dad and husband. Do you see the danger in polarizing your life like that? It will be my challenge to write and still give my family the attention they want and need.

But on another note, I did finish adding a small sub-story line yesterday and got it typed out yesterday, adding about a page to the notes. I am pleased with the progress so far, and truth be told, I really am excited to start this. I just wonder (now) if I am making a bigger deal with this than I should? I wonder if other authors go through this same period of doubt and hesitation, or if it's just me. I should ask that on Facebook.

Today's the day. I just have to do it, and get done what I need to (like finish up the rewrites on The Watchers by the weekend, so I can focus 100% on Keepers...)

So let it be written...

so let it be done.

Word Count: 0 (+) (this, by the way, will be a running total of words when I start writing on Monday, to keep me honest and track my progress)