Keepers DAY 28

Fourth week. And I'm still plugging along.

But something happened over the weekend that I have experienced before but it still gave me pause and concern. Yesterday, while typing a couple of days' worth of writing (that wasn't very much, by the way...), I was struck by the doubt and fear that I wasn't going in the right direction. This was more than just writer's block; it wasn't a "I don't know where to go from here" thought - this was a full-on "I'm going in the wrong direction/what the heck was I thinking" thought. And when these happen it can be very frightening.

I remember having this while writing The Watchers. I was into the book about the same number of pages (page 100), and about the same amount of time (about a month), and with that book I did take a break - about a year and a half! And then when I finally came back to it I had changed, and so did the story from that point on.

I'm not sure what this milestone is, and I wonder if other writers experience it, too. If I try to analyze it, part of this might be due to the fact that I combined two chapters and now I have to come up with another means to blend into the second "Back Story" chapter, or just break it up like I had planned all along, and beef up those chapters to fill the number of pages.

But I'm sure that's not all of it. For me, there seems to be some period of doubt and creeps in about this time. It's like it says in The Alchemist, that "beginner's luck" happens to create excitement and build confidence for what you are trying to accomplish.

I am glad that I am recording this because, as I have said many times and in many circumstances, you can only control what you understand. (Think about that one for a while...) But I'm not going to be shaken from this book that easily. I will push through this, trusting in my outline and dreams for this book. I feel that I have been inspired to write this one at this time, and will trust in that inspiration to get me through my doubts. Like I heard on Conference this weekend: The opposite of faith is fear. I will rely on my faith and dispel my fear.

So let it be written...

so let it be done.

Word Count: 25,798 (+2595)